The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
by jeh-jeh
Summary: LucRic FanFic. It is rated M because it deals with male.male relationship and also the possible inclusion of drugs.alcohol.suicide in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

The first time I ever saw your face  
He looked at him from across the crowded room. "This is wrong", he though to himself. "His girlfriend is one of my best friends and I'm already spoken for", Ric thought as he stared at the figure across the room. It was a crowded room, people bursting out at the seams, but through all the madness of hundreds of people all dancing to blaring music, he only had eyes for one person.  
It had been a long process and not even Ric himself had noticed it creeping up on him. From the day the Holdens arrived in Summer Bay Ric had found him getting on with all the family famously, but Lucas in particular. He thought nothing of it, he and Cassie were going out and Maddie and Cass had become great friends so it was only natural that the 3 should hang out together. So then when Luc arrived in town and him and Maddie finally became an item, it was just a natural progression that he should join their 'gang', and at the time, Ric thought nothing of it. But as the time progressed, Ric found himself not being drawn to how him and Luc were both great sports players and had many other similarities besides, but his blonde tousled hair, the way his toned torso glistened when he came out of the sea and the way his eyes lit up every time he smiled, which fortunately for Ric, was pretty often.  
So when Cass and Maddie had decided that they wanted to go to a 'Girls only – no boys allowed party, the boys, feeling left out, managed to wrangle their way into another party. Ric had excused himself from Luc's company – finding those piercing blue eyes all too much to bear – and found himself at the other side of the room sipping a lemonade watching Luc hold a captivated audience in conversation, and feeling a piercing stab of jealousy course through his body.

**When I first arrived in the Bay, I had no idea that things would turn out like this. I had come to Summer Bay a pretty gawky and quiet teenager and, after starring in Colleen's truly awful play, found love with my beautiful girl Matilda. But now, I don't know what's changed inside of me. Whether in fact anything actually has. Maybe it's just me responding to what has surfaced from the depths of my psyche. It's just the way he looks at me with that look of longing his eyes. The way that says, "I want you right now – I don't care about the consequences". But it's not right, we're both spoken for, and we're all one big group, it would cause too many problems. Hurting Mattie doesn't bear thinking about….but Ric just looks at me, I've seen it when we've shared surreptitious glances walking back up the beach after surfing. Or when one of the girls cracks a stupid joke about sun-baking and about how it's just a fantastic way to pass the time, and then for a split second our eyes connect and electricity sizzles through my body. Now, at this party, I have the perfect opportunity.**

I just wanna touch him. Have him do things to me that no one's ever done to me before. I can't win. I can't stand being near him….it takes too much self control, but either way we're stuck. If I say that I don't wanna hang out with him anymore, the girls will get suspicious. But if I hang around him for much longer I might do something the girls wouldn't want to see….

**I think that my brain's gonna explode…..Ric is walking towards me……with a blazing look in his eyes.  
What am I gonna do? Too late for any more thinking, he's here.**

"Hey Luc, I'm back, sorry, I had to go and get a drink, I was really thirsty" I say, joining Luc at a small table in the corner and trying desperately hard to keep a sense of neutrality in my voice.  
"No probs mate" he replies. Maybe it was the combination of the alcohol I had drunk previously in the evening or the adrenaline rush that I was having at the thought of the opportunity that was before me, I become totally spontaneous. "Do you wanna come with me and see if we can beat the girls at their own game and dance with me?" "Sure", Luc said, but before I could move I was stopped in my tracks. I could feel a hand on me. Not daring to look down or to find it's owner, I held my gaze away and could feel it making long and slow movements up and down my thigh.

**I knew I had an opportunity at this party that was too good to pass up. Yeah, OK, maybe I was slightly less inhibited than I would normally be, but surely that's not a bad thing? I've seen the looks he gives me, the little eye catches we share, the way he smiles at me. It was now or never. I start off with a friendly pat on the leg as if to say "Yeah, I'd love to come and dance with you". But then I seize the moment. I make long, slow movements up and down his thigh under the table and each of us is too lost in the moment to say a word. I begin to slowly but surely edge my way up to inbetween his legs, every time getting closer and then running my hand back away down his thigh again.**

There's still all the people dancing around us. But at this moment in time it just feels like it's me and him in the entire world. I feel him continuing to rub his hand up and down my thigh, each time getting closer to the spot, then pulling away just as I think he's about to get near it. Still scared to look at his face, afraid of what I might see in it, he gently takes my hand and places it on his leg. I start to rub his leg up and down and whisper in his ear, "Do you fancy a dance now you're all warmed up?"

**I allow Ric to lead me onto the dancefloor just as a slow song is playing. For the first time, I look straight into his face and see this hard, blazing look of want and desire in his eyes. I allow him to pull my face to his and he kisses me. He then gently probes his tongue and our tongues duel as the kiss deepens. I realise that this is what I've wanted for a long time. **

Luc's hands begin to explore my body. "Luc, do you wanna take this somewhere more private?" I ask him? He says, "Yeah, in more ways than one!" And thrilled by his reply I lead him out of the party.  
It looks like that, for once in our lives, our lazyness has actually served a useful purpose. When the girls had gone to the party, we didn't have any way of getting into town very easily, so we agreed to go to a mate's house down the road, so luckily we weren't very far away from home. "Your place or mine?" I ask Ric? "Yours", he replies, "'Cos Sal and Flynn are home and didn't Beth and your Dad say that they were going to the cinema tonight? We'd have the place to ourselves" he replies, rather cheekily.  
As soon as Luc closes the door to his room, I'm onto his bed like a shot. He crawls over and joins me. He looks into my eyes and kisses me like I've never been kissed before. Our tongues duel and I prise his mouth open and the kiss deepens. He begins to kiss me everywhere – slowly but surely systematically working his way down my body. I begin to harden underneath him and I think he can feel it as a small moan of pleasure escapes his lips.

**I begin to slowly unbutton Ric's shirt, only pausing the kissing to lift it over his head. He then does the same to me. At first this made me feel really self conscious, but then I got all the reassurance I needed as I felt Ric harden. I then begin to work on his trousers, slowly putting my hand down them to take them off to reveal his toned and athletic legs. All the while he is kissing me – my neck, my chest, slowly working his way down. **

I begin to get more frantic. I pull at Luc's trousers, frustrated at not being able to discard them quickly enough, I want to know what it is like to feel his body melt into mine. I then begin to play with the top of his boxers, running my finger like a feather around the edge. As I roll over, it is my turn to feel Luc underneath me and boy does it feel good.

**I lie there, kissing Ric and touching him and I feel his hand in mine slowly guiding it between his legs. He begins to arch up and the moans of pleasure become more frequent, the electricity sizzling through every fibre of my body. We slowly but surely discard his boxers and the feeling of him, naked on top of me, sends shivers down my spine. **

I gently pull at Luc's boxers and as they come down I put my hand between his legs and more moans come out, I was right, I knew that he wanted me and he wanted me bad. As we lie there, each kissing every inch of the other's body, I begin to push myself against him.

**If I didn't know any better I would say that my brain is gonna explode. I can't explain the sensations that I'm feeling.**

…………………………………………………………………………………………

**Several hours later, laying intwined in Ric's arms, I hear the door shut with a BANG. "Oh my God, the girls are back!" Quickly, I shake Ric who rouses slowly. "What are we gonna do if we get caught like this?" No amount of explaining can get rid of this one!" Luckily the girls, probably thinking that we're up watching the footie – either that or camped out together, run noisily straight past us and into Maddie's room. I lie there in his strong arms feeling guilty at what has happened but knowing that I couldn't change it even if I had wanted to.**

I knew that in the morning we would have a bit of explaining and/or excuse making to do, and that our feelings for each other couldn't go unnoticed for ever, but right at that moment in time, I felt so safe wrapped around him that nothing in the world could make me care about what tomorrow would bring.


	2. Chapter 2

Rubbing my eyes and squinting as I adjust to the darkness, it takes me a few seconds to realise where I am. Rolling over and coming face to face with Ric, still sleeping and snoring gently, memories of the previous night's activities come flooding back to me. I begin to mentally panic, but feeling Ric's arms around me and hearing his regular breathing I feel so safe and secure. Looking at the clock I see that it is only 7am – if the girls had a night partying as good as we did (although I really doubt that could be possible), hopefully they won't surface for a while. With that, I close my eyes and drift back into the land of dreams.

I am awoken by a shaking and Luc's voice in my ear. "Quick, wake up, I can hear the girls moving upstairs, we'd have one hell of a lot of explaining to do if they caught us like this" he whispered urgently.

"OK, OK, I'm getting up" I reply groggily.

Disentangling myself from Ric's arms I slid out of bed and begin frantically searching round for clean clothes to make myself look presentable before we are invaded by the girls.

"**Have I ever told you how hot you look in the morning getting dressed?" a voice asks me from the bed. **

"**Are you trying to distract me on purpose!" I reply, trying very hard to keep a straight face and resist the temptation to jump back onto the bed for just five more minutes. "Just get dressed!"**

As I watch Luc scurrying around the room frantically throwing clothes on I can't help but smile. But then I feel a horrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The girls? What are we gonna do? After everything that's happened, getting through the day, having to behave like nothing's happened is gonna be hell. I never imagined that things would turn out like this. Luc's girlfriend is one of my best friends and her best friend is my girlfriend. But how can I regret something that was so good and that we both so obviously wanted? Life's too short for regrets – Flynn's death had taught us that.

Just as I finish buttoning my shirt up, there's a knock at the door - luckily by this point Ric has got out of bed and is looking pretty decent – and there standing in the doorway is Mattie and Cassie. "Morning girls" I say, trying to sound bright and awake. "How was the party?"

"It was good, you know, the usual, we had fun didn't we Cass?"

"Yeah, you missed out on a lot" she replies. "Did you boys have fun without us?" Cass asks?

"Yeah", I say, somewhat guiltily. Ric just briefly catches my eye and smiles. "So you girls got any plans for today then?" I say, desperately trying to change the subject.

"Well, we were thinking of going down to the beach since it looks like it's going to be a pretty nice day out there today."

"Yeah, you guys can surf, or whatever it is you do out there, and me and Cass will top up our tans on the beach" added Maddie.

My attempt to change the subject had just landed me in an even worse situation. Why can't I just keep my mouth shut!

The look on Luc's face when the girls revealed that they planned to spend the day on the beach is priceless! It's a mixture of horror and delight! I can see that we're gonna have a lot of fun today…..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I walk down to the beach, Ric and I make an effort to talk to Cass and Maddie, but letting them ramble on and on and on about how fantastic last night's party was. About how much fun we missed, about how we 'so should've been there'. I think about how much fun _we _had last night, how much we both wanted it. These good memories start to melt into guilt as fast as they had arrived. Maddie doesn't deserve this, she hasn't done anything to make it right to have a boyfriend like me, one who has the capacity to do something that would hurt her so much. And what if I'm some kind of rebound? Flynn's been dead about 6 months now, Ric's never really had a positive male figure in his life until Flynn, and now he's gone…I can't imagine what would happen if I lost Dad or Jack. Maddie's words snap me out of my reverie, "Earth to Luc, Luc to earth! Are you there? We're at the beach!" How much time had I spent mulling things over in my head? Oh well, time to put on a brave face.

Watching the girls lying on the beach, I realise what a situation I am in. Most lads my age would kill for a girl as hot as mine, yet I was sitting here and I was daydreaming with eyes for only one person (who just so happens to be sitting a few feet away from me lying next to his girlfriend). As the time passed and it became apparent that the girls were probably gonna be lying here, sunbaking, for a while yet, an idea formulates in my mind. "Luc, do you wanna go for a surf in the sea?"

"Errr…yeah…go on then", he says tentatively. As we walk into the sea, Luc opens his mouth as if to say something.

Before even one word escapes my lips, Ric splashes me so hard that I fall underneath a wave, caught unawares. As I splash him back, a play fight ensues. As I look at him, I see that same spark in eyes, the one I had seen the previous night, lying in bed next to him. Before I know where I am, I feel his lips crashing down onto mine.

As I pull away from the kiss, I say the first thing that pops into my head, "I love you Luc" and, surprising even myself, I really do mean it.

Not knowing how to respond, I run out of the sea and down the beach. I run and run and run, faster than I have in my entire life. Why did he tell me that he loves me? Maybe he really is on some kind of weird rebound – to block out the pain.

What have I done now! Maybe I've just imagined everything that I think has gone on between us. There's just one thing to do – I run.


	3. Chapter 3

After sitting here for what seems like an eternity, I slowly get up and start to walk back along the beach. As I approach the spot where I had left Ric and the girls, there's no one there. I guess I have to go back to the house and show my face – I really can't hide out forever.

I breeze through the door trying to look cheery. "Did you have a fun time sunbaking? Have you seen Ric?" I ask, noticing his absence.

"Yeah, we had a great time but we thought that Ric was with you didn't we Cass?" said Maddie.

"Yeah" trailed Cassie, looking concerned.

"I guess he'll reappear for dinner", I said, trying to reassure myself and the girls.

After quietly excusing myself, I go upstairs and flop down onto the bed. So many thoughts are spinning in my head, it is making me dizzy. Just last night me and Ric were in this room together, on this very bed. And now today someone had told me that they loved me and I pushed them away and now they've disappeared, how stupid could I be? BLEEP BLEEP I feel my 'phone vibrating in my pocket. _I need 2 c u, plse cum n meet me at the Diner. R _

Jumping down from my bed I ran downstairs and shout hurried excuses to the girls as I go through the door. Walking down the road towards the Diner, I wonder nervously what Ric's gonna say.

Thinking about Luc walking down the road towards the Diner, my mind went back to _that _party. The fun we had, how I got butterflies in my stomach knowing he was across the room from me. As I wake up from my reverie, I see a pair of piercing blue eyes looking straight into mine.

"Hiya" I say nervously. "What did you want to see me about?" My mind is telling me to run now, but somehow my feet stay rooted to the spot.

"Umm…." Ric stammered. "I just wanted to apologise for freaking you out earlier…."

"Ric, can we take this outside please" as I see Colleen, the town busybody, hovering in the corner.

"…What have you got to be sorry about?" I continue as we walk outside into the sunshine.

"Well, it looks like I freaked you out and I really really truly didn't mean to".

I hope Luc accepts my apology. I truly didn't mean to freak him out. What if I've ruined even our friendship permanently? It doesn't bear thinking about. Nothing surprises me more than the next thing that Lucas says.  
"It doesn't matter Ric, 'cos I love you too".  
"You know what, that's the best thing that anyone's told me for a long time."  
"Even Cass?" Luc ventures.  
This stops me in my tracks. Cass…she doesn't deserve any of this. She doesn't deserve all these problems. She deserves a boyfriend who can love her as much as she loves him. But it's obvious now that I'm not that person. "Yeah, even Cass" I say truthfully and I realise at that very moment what I want.


End file.
